Sunday, April 25, 2010
Today's lovely weigh in 209.4. Happy about that I am. But, I do have a confession to make. I am so possessed by the loss of weight that I began doing some of my former high school days type of obsession by taking laxatives. I have been doing this for approximately 2 months. Why? Because I am possessed by the need for a quick loss. I began to doubt my ability to truly do this with my diet and forged ahead with what I know keeps the loss going and I mean literally. I finally had to fess up and have stopped doing this as of last night. I know it is not good for me to do this every day and I can see that I just trade one addiction for another. Geez. I don't like it about myself and it just makes me sad. I have been lying to me. I will stop this and go back to what has been working. Diet and walking. I will leave the obsession behind for now and go back to healthy attitudes. No more laxatives, just eating the way I should. I know what to do. Sorry everyone for not being honest. I have a long way to go both emotionally and weight. Someday, I will get there for both of those areas. I guess the only thing to do is confess and then release and let go.