Tuesday, February 24, 2015

I heard myself say...

Yesterday, I saw an old friend who was asking me about the surgery.  I sort of like talking about it because it was really a big deal and I usually don't spend so much time on stuff like that.  Anyway, I was chattering on about the day of and after and then the weeks that have followed.  I started to hear myself say that I would not do this over again.  In fact, what I heard was a sentence that completely took me by surprise.  It went like this.  "If I had known that it was going to hurt to eat, I don't know that I would have done this."  And, I think it is true.  At this moment in time, and despite the weight loss, I don't know that I would do this again.  I have heard from everyone that has had the surgery that they wish they had done it sooner.  Really?  Hmmm.  Honestly, I have had a relatively easy time in comparison to others, but I feel different.  It is an odd think to know that your body has been altered.  I don't regret the reasons I did this, I think that they were honest.  But, I am tired a lot and eating is a friggin chore.  So, there, I said it.

I can safely assume that I will feel differently at some point, but this is how I feel now.

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