I had a funny thing happen to me this morning. I looked into the mirror and was surprised at what I saw. I saw a former me. A younger me. A prettier me than I have in years. My skin is clear, my eyes vibrant, my jawbone is there. I can see it. I haven't seen me for a long time and I welcomed her back. I was moved by who I saw and I said to myself, this is good. You look good. Welcome back. I got tears in my eyes. I thought you deserve this. You really do. It is ok to be happy about this. I wanted to give permission to feel good about me and I did.
What I don't understand is why others can't see what a struggle this is for me. This is my life and if I don't become healthy, I could die. I don't want to go out for a drink right now. I don't want to sabotage this new girl I see. Drinks are not necessary at this moment. Health is necessary. Every pound I lose gets me closer to that goal. Drinking and eating what I want doesn't.