Holding Back the Tears

Weight today 219.  Sucks, but down -2 from yesterday.  The weekend was full of gastronimical delight and plenty of wine.  Went to Eugene for the weekend and we ate out two nights in a row.  Beppe and Gianis and Soriah.  Both were exceptional.  At Beppe's I had pork shoulder in a tomato sauce with risotto.  I left half of the dinner behind in an attempt to eat more reasonably.  The cesar salad was to die for and I ate all of that.  Did not have bread.  At Soriah's I had rib eye steak with mash and again, cesar salad, no bread.  I didn't eat all the steak and was careful to cut out the fat.  The sauce on the steak was divine goganzola.  I really worked hard not to eat poorly at the home show and did find a salad to eat.  What worked:  me being careful.  What didn't: me eating chips before bed.  Ok.  So, I have progressed and for that I need to acknowledge myself.  I still need to control the wine consumption.  So, Sunday we go out and eat at Pastini.  I have the meatballs sans cheese and a cesar salad.  I think I see a trend here.  Flash forward to Monday morning.  Headache from wine and weight is 221.  Now, I am holding back the tears.  It is just so hard to see the weight go up and I keep sabotaging myself.  By the way, I also took a walk with Bella, my border collie of about a mile and one half.  Didn't my body recognize my ill attempts at control?  Guess not.