Sunday, June 6, 2010
I was responding to Lyn's blog at Escape from Obesity today when I had a realization. I can't allow myself to enjoy the success I have experienced because I may fail in the long run. Lyn has lost a tremendous amount of weight and some of this is due to her diet on Medifast. You may recall that I am following that plan. I have lost over 70 on it and feel great in my skin. What I don't feel great about is after the plan. I have competing voices in my head. Some are saying, "you are going to be successful no mater what" and the others are not so hopeful. In fact, they only see failure. Another blog today talked about prepackaged food and the expense of such. Really, I don't think she meant it as a put down to those of us doing this, but it speaks to the voices who think failure is on the horizon. I am worried. I don't know if the success is due to me being diligent or the food, or you name it? What matters to me isn't how I lost the weight, but how I keep it off. The voices don't seem to care either as they are convinced by history. I did this before and gained it all back. I do wish that I could let myself believe that I can keep it off, but I just can't go there today or anytime soon.